Undoubtedly one of the best ways to get a real taste of modern Mexican customs and culture is to get yourself invited to someone's family birthday party (or a wedding of course, if you really want to shoot for the stars). Fortunately my family-in-law is huge, so during my time here we've been to several such gatherings, and to top it all off we recently organised our own event for our son's first birthday. Our attempts to keep it low-key, picking and choosing only our favourite traditions and adding our own touch to the proceedings, were completely in vain by the time various family members had their say, and we ended up with an archetypal fiesta on our hands. In this post I'll go through some of the crucial ingredients for a successful Mexican party.
1. Tacos/Tamales
It goes without saying that the first question to ask is what kind of food will be served at the party. Fortunately this is also probably the easiest question to answer: people are going to expect to see either tacos or tamales or both. I'm going assume that everyone knows what a taco is; a tamale meanwhile consists of a corn-based dough steamed in a banana leaf and filled with meat, vegetables or chilies. They're extremely filling and delicious when done right; in the wrong hands they can be bland and extremely dry.
I don't think I've ever been to a party in Mexico without at least one of these two dishes present; I strongly suspect there's a law of nature that says that whenever half a dozen or so Mexicans congregate they spontaneously appear.
2. Birthday Cake
In Mexico they have this thing called a 'Birthday Cake'. It's like a special delicious cake that you only eat when it's someone's birthday. Crazy right? Ok, yeah so it's pretty much exactly the same as everywhere else. The only difference is the compulsory accompanying song: surprisingly not just a bastardized version of Happy Birthday in Spanish, it's a completely original tune, with it's own melody and lyrics and everything. It's called "Las Mañanitas" (The Little Mornings). I've heard it about 40 times and I still struggle to remember the words. There's actually a whole motorcade of songs to guide you gently through the cake cutting and eating process, from the classic opener "Queremos Pastel" (We Want Cake) through to the final chant of "Mordida, Mordida" (Bite, Bite). Seriously.
3. Piñata
No Mexican birthday party is complete without a piñata: a hollow papier-mâche capsule normally filled with sweets, hung from a rope and jigged about while guests take it in turns to smash it as hard as possible with a small bat in order to reveal the hidden treasure inside, all while wearing a blindfold (although small children are normally allowed the privilege of full sight). The thing is normally pretty sturdy; each person gets several turns before it finally breaks apart. There's yet another song, or chant, to accompany the proceedings; each turn lasts as long as it takes the crowd to get through it. It's all pretty good fun. Apparently in olden times the piñata was made from clay rather than paper, adding a whole new level of menace to events. It's not completely without danger even now: at our party recently one child ran directly into the line of fire as soon as the sweets started to drop, while the blindfolded teenager whose turn it was kept swinging frantically away for several seconds, unaware the piñata had fallen.
4. Drinks
Even at a child's birthday party at lunchtime on a Saturday, you can count on people to get through a significant amount of alcohol. I had thought that 120 beers for 60 guests, plus bottles of tequila, rum and whiskey, was going to be overkill at our son's first birthday party, given that a good chunk of those were children and there were plenty of non-drinking adults, but I needn't have worried. It was looking dodgy at about 8pm, most people had gone home and there were still probably 40-odd beers left, but a small group of dedicated drinkers managed to get through the remainder by the time we finally called it a night at 11pm (I refuse to disclose if I was part of that group myself). For the non-alcohol drinkers, flavoured water is the standard offering; hibiscus water (agua de jamaica) is always a favourite.
5. Guests
Any good party needs plenty of guests of course; just not necessarily those you invited. There are two complementary phenomena at work at any Mexican party: firstly, a decent chunk of the people you expected won't show up; secondly, a load of people you didn't will. The next-door neighbour of a friend of your aunt will be there with bells on, your childhood friend will get stuck in traffic and turn home after an hour and a half in desperation (or so she says).
If you're from Europe you might expect there to be some serious mingling at these events; if you're Swedish you'll assume you're going to spend the whole event purposefully placed at a table away from your friends and partner all in the name of socialising. For better or worse that's not the way things are done in Mexico, here you arrive and make a beeline for your group of closest companions. If you were hoping for some precious time away from the in-laws, you'll be bitterly disappointed. Of course if you make it far enough into the event, just like at the World Series of Poker, there'll be a moment when someone suggests the remaining stragglers get together round a single table and polish off any remaining drinks late into the night, falling one by one by the wayside until it's finally game over (see point 4 above.) This is the part of the evening when you might actually have some fun.
6. Entertainment
Even a relatively small family gathering is likely to have some kind of (semi-)professional entertainment. The classic choice is of course a Mariachi band, guaranteed to get uncles, aunts and grandparents up on the dancefloor, shouting out horribly obscure requests which the band inevitably know by heart. Otherwise another solid entertainment choice is a guy with a keyboard belting out Spanish language pop classics, normally singing pretty well but not as good as just listening to the record of course. He'll often want you to partake in some kind of choreographed dancing, a conga or hokey cokey type thing, every sane person's idea of a nightmare basically. Once that's over it's time for the inevitable karaoke, hopefully by this point you're drunk enough to make the whole thing bearable.
7. The goodie bag and the doggy bag
No Mexican party, particularly if it's a child's birthday, would be complete without a goodie bag filled to the brim with chilli-flavoured sweets (I still can't get used to these), some little toys and souvenirs from the day. Of course half the guests forget to take theirs with them, so you're guaranteed to be left behind with 30 of these carefully curated gifts, with enough sweets to last a lifetime (or till next Wednesday, depending on your sweet-consumption habits).
Slightly more unusual is the fact that guests normally take away large quantities of the party grub with them in a doggy bag. It's almost rude not to offer up enough food to get through to the end of the weekend at least. If you're going to a Mexican party make sure to clear your fridge out first; you'll need the space for all the taco fillings, sauces and bits of cake that will be hoisted on you before leaving.
Finally
Having written this list I'm starting to think that Mexican parties are not so different from other countries I've experienced after all. You basically can't go wrong with food, drink, and dancing wherever you are in the world. It strikes me that the line between a children's party and an adult affair is surprisingly fine here, but that may be more due to the fact that I'm suddenly being invited to an array of such events for the first time since I was a child myself. Perhaps all the adults were pissed back then, I was just completely unaware.
It goes without saying that the first question to ask is what kind of food will be served at the party. Fortunately this is also probably the easiest question to answer: people are going to expect to see either tacos or tamales or both. I'm going assume that everyone knows what a taco is; a tamale meanwhile consists of a corn-based dough steamed in a banana leaf and filled with meat, vegetables or chilies. They're extremely filling and delicious when done right; in the wrong hands they can be bland and extremely dry.
I don't think I've ever been to a party in Mexico without at least one of these two dishes present; I strongly suspect there's a law of nature that says that whenever half a dozen or so Mexicans congregate they spontaneously appear.
2. Birthday Cake
In Mexico they have this thing called a 'Birthday Cake'. It's like a special delicious cake that you only eat when it's someone's birthday. Crazy right? Ok, yeah so it's pretty much exactly the same as everywhere else. The only difference is the compulsory accompanying song: surprisingly not just a bastardized version of Happy Birthday in Spanish, it's a completely original tune, with it's own melody and lyrics and everything. It's called "Las Mañanitas" (The Little Mornings). I've heard it about 40 times and I still struggle to remember the words. There's actually a whole motorcade of songs to guide you gently through the cake cutting and eating process, from the classic opener "Queremos Pastel" (We Want Cake) through to the final chant of "Mordida, Mordida" (Bite, Bite). Seriously.
3. Piñata
No Mexican birthday party is complete without a piñata: a hollow papier-mâche capsule normally filled with sweets, hung from a rope and jigged about while guests take it in turns to smash it as hard as possible with a small bat in order to reveal the hidden treasure inside, all while wearing a blindfold (although small children are normally allowed the privilege of full sight). The thing is normally pretty sturdy; each person gets several turns before it finally breaks apart. There's yet another song, or chant, to accompany the proceedings; each turn lasts as long as it takes the crowd to get through it. It's all pretty good fun. Apparently in olden times the piñata was made from clay rather than paper, adding a whole new level of menace to events. It's not completely without danger even now: at our party recently one child ran directly into the line of fire as soon as the sweets started to drop, while the blindfolded teenager whose turn it was kept swinging frantically away for several seconds, unaware the piñata had fallen.
4. Drinks
Even at a child's birthday party at lunchtime on a Saturday, you can count on people to get through a significant amount of alcohol. I had thought that 120 beers for 60 guests, plus bottles of tequila, rum and whiskey, was going to be overkill at our son's first birthday party, given that a good chunk of those were children and there were plenty of non-drinking adults, but I needn't have worried. It was looking dodgy at about 8pm, most people had gone home and there were still probably 40-odd beers left, but a small group of dedicated drinkers managed to get through the remainder by the time we finally called it a night at 11pm (I refuse to disclose if I was part of that group myself). For the non-alcohol drinkers, flavoured water is the standard offering; hibiscus water (agua de jamaica) is always a favourite.
5. Guests
Any good party needs plenty of guests of course; just not necessarily those you invited. There are two complementary phenomena at work at any Mexican party: firstly, a decent chunk of the people you expected won't show up; secondly, a load of people you didn't will. The next-door neighbour of a friend of your aunt will be there with bells on, your childhood friend will get stuck in traffic and turn home after an hour and a half in desperation (or so she says).
If you're from Europe you might expect there to be some serious mingling at these events; if you're Swedish you'll assume you're going to spend the whole event purposefully placed at a table away from your friends and partner all in the name of socialising. For better or worse that's not the way things are done in Mexico, here you arrive and make a beeline for your group of closest companions. If you were hoping for some precious time away from the in-laws, you'll be bitterly disappointed. Of course if you make it far enough into the event, just like at the World Series of Poker, there'll be a moment when someone suggests the remaining stragglers get together round a single table and polish off any remaining drinks late into the night, falling one by one by the wayside until it's finally game over (see point 4 above.) This is the part of the evening when you might actually have some fun.
6. Entertainment
Even a relatively small family gathering is likely to have some kind of (semi-)professional entertainment. The classic choice is of course a Mariachi band, guaranteed to get uncles, aunts and grandparents up on the dancefloor, shouting out horribly obscure requests which the band inevitably know by heart. Otherwise another solid entertainment choice is a guy with a keyboard belting out Spanish language pop classics, normally singing pretty well but not as good as just listening to the record of course. He'll often want you to partake in some kind of choreographed dancing, a conga or hokey cokey type thing, every sane person's idea of a nightmare basically. Once that's over it's time for the inevitable karaoke, hopefully by this point you're drunk enough to make the whole thing bearable.
7. The goodie bag and the doggy bag
No Mexican party, particularly if it's a child's birthday, would be complete without a goodie bag filled to the brim with chilli-flavoured sweets (I still can't get used to these), some little toys and souvenirs from the day. Of course half the guests forget to take theirs with them, so you're guaranteed to be left behind with 30 of these carefully curated gifts, with enough sweets to last a lifetime (or till next Wednesday, depending on your sweet-consumption habits).
Slightly more unusual is the fact that guests normally take away large quantities of the party grub with them in a doggy bag. It's almost rude not to offer up enough food to get through to the end of the weekend at least. If you're going to a Mexican party make sure to clear your fridge out first; you'll need the space for all the taco fillings, sauces and bits of cake that will be hoisted on you before leaving.
Finally
Having written this list I'm starting to think that Mexican parties are not so different from other countries I've experienced after all. You basically can't go wrong with food, drink, and dancing wherever you are in the world. It strikes me that the line between a children's party and an adult affair is surprisingly fine here, but that may be more due to the fact that I'm suddenly being invited to an array of such events for the first time since I was a child myself. Perhaps all the adults were pissed back then, I was just completely unaware.
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